The pick of the chatter from the year gone by
27-Dec-2008
Shoaib Akhtar shoulders the burden of being his country’s last diamond © AFP
Oh so humble”I can get Ponting out any time. I think I can get him even after I come post a six-month lay-off … [he] had a lot to say about our players and about the way we play our cricket. In fact, it is Ponting who first needs to go and learn to bat against spin bowling.”
“There isn’t a player I haven’t dismissed, from Brian Lara to Sachin Tendulkar. And if you’re talking about the last series against South Africa, I’ll give you CDs and you can watch them. Then you’ll know if I bowled or not against South Africa.”
“How many diamonds can you retrieve from one single mine? There has to be an end somewhere. I don’t see any natural fast bowler after me.”
“I appeal to people not to damage public property and to remain calm.”
“You are not God, you are a cricketer, and I’m a better one.”
The best of friends”The first time I ever met him he was the same little obnoxious weed that he is now.”
Matthew Hayden on his good mate Harbhajan Singh“We’re not good friends at all, I just pretend to get on with him because he’s bloody fast and I don’t want him to hurt me in the nets.”
“Our friendship’s blossomed… can I say that?”
The IPL and big money”There was a little element of feeling like a cow.”
“I know I am worth much more. And based on my performances, I think I can easily get a million dollars, if not more.”
“I could end up being the bargain buy of the tournament, you never know.”
A smiling Ricky Ponting brushes off his comparatively low IPL price tag“When you go to your grave, people will remember what you did with your life rather than how much money you made.”
“It’s a little sad, but I can’t go to the supermarket and say that my name is Tino Best, I bowl at 90 miles an hour, I want $400 in groceries.”
Job hazards”I don’t do heights. I’ll go in helicopters and planes but they’re meant to fly – commentary boxes aren’t.”
“It’s kind of hard to go on one date, have a nice dinner and then say: ‘That was nice – what are you doing in six weeks’ time? I’m going to Chittagong.'”
Stanford, and Twenty20″I’ll probably just take as much as possible off my mortgage or maybe put it under the bed – that’s where money is safest at the moment!”
“Twenty20 is here to stay, as is the future of coloured-clothes cricket, but white clothes separate the men from the boys.”
“Maybe some of these guys are thinking about their bank accounts before they start playing.”
“He’s got more tape on his fingers than an Iraqi war veteran.”
“When this was announced in June I was a hero; now I’m a skunk in October.”
“It’s like three-minute Maggi noodles. Bang, bang, and it is over. For me, it is not cricket.”
“Had I been 21, I would easily have cracked this.”
Allsorts”It is a $5 bit of cloth. I haven’t got one, haven’t had one since the day I finished. I don’t need to look at an Australian cap to remind me of what I did.”
“I like king prawns with a bit of garlic. And I don’t mind lobster. But ‘Vaughan the Prawn’ — what’s all that about? Who writes these headlines?”
Sun”I’m not Jerry Maguire.”
“My cricket age is also my real age.”
“I was a little bit like a frog in a blender, arms and legs everywhere.”
“Welcome to the world of mere mortals. The difference between you and the rest of us is that we only have to remember a couple of months back for our last bad month – you have to remember ten years ago.”
Allen Stanford: from saviour to skunk in a matter of months © Getty Images
“The Shoaib Akhtar [of our team] is Asmavia Iqbal… The only difference between him and her is that she’s completely fit, sticks to her game and does the job she’s asked to do.”
“I think it’s great… but they’re going to have to manage the change rooms pretty well!”
“I’m going to take Yuvraj out in the hotel tonight and make sure he doesn’t come to Kanpur for the next game”
After back-to-back hundreds, Kevin Pietersen has had enough of Yuvraj Singh“The world must get a lesson from Obama’s win, which got an African-American into the White House. That proves anything is possible and Pakistan can take inspiration from that.”
“Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting. They will go unnoticed because even the Lord is watching.”
“I might be watching the Australians on television, and I will think of a field setting while watching a certain batsman, and I will scribble it down on whatever is in front of me – a tissue, a bit of newspaper, anything.”
“I prayed and prayed and asked God to give me the strength to hit that ball out of the ground.”
Shivnarine Chanderpaul recounts the moments before his thrilling last-ball six off Chaminda Vaas in Trinidad“Should there be only one government school in the country? What if some private schools come up and provide education to few more?”
“Collingwood, with respect, is a poor man’s Mark Ealham.”
And…”Just one last thing, lads.”
